Weekly Writing Inspiration: April 23, 2013

I thought I’d start a new thing here on my writing blog. What’s inspiring me this week? We’ll start out with a handful of things and see how that goes. I may cut back on these or increase them depending on what my life is like at the time. But this week, I’m inspired by:

Writing inspiration

Coffee + blogging = a good morning

  1. 1/2 caf Americanos. Just enough caffeine to kick my rear in gear but not so much to leave me a jittery mess
  2. YouTube videos by Google engineer, Matt Cutts. Learning so much cool stuff. Yes, I’m that nerdy.
  3. Moving forward on projects. After stagnation on a few big projects, they’re finally moving forward again and I’m feeling really positive about them. There is actual measurable progress. Which is awesome.
  4. New routines. I’m developing new routines and plans for my blogs, which is seriously exciting. I’ve blogged forever but never consistently enough. If I want to advise people on how to “market their brands” and “increase search engine traffic” and all of those other buzzwordy things, I need to actually do it myself. It’s more work, yes, but it can only yield positive results. And dammit, I find that inspiring!

That’s all for now. I’m going to try to make this a weekly thing, as I’m sure there will be at least one thing that inspires me each week. And please feel free to share what’s inspiring you this week, whether it’s something someone said to you, a particularly fun thing you did over the weekend, or a quote you read online, I want to know!

The Sunshine Award

I’ve been slacking on this blogging business lately, so I’m super thankful to A. G. Carpenter for tagging me for the Sunshine Award. 1.) I’m happy she thought of me and 2.) I have a built-in blog topic. Woot!

So, here are the rules of this meme:

  • include the Logo and a link to who nominated you
  • write 10 things about yourself
  • nominate and link to 10 more awesome people for the award

Okay, yeah that does sound pretty easy. Let’s get to it, shall we?

10 Interesting (Or Not-So-Interesting) Things About Me

1. One of the first stories I ever wrote was about a fire-breathing sand man that lived in a hot air balloon. Yeah, I don’t know either.

2. I love animals of all kinds and had pet rats up until last year. In the colder months, they’d sit in the hood on my sweatshirt or even in my sleeves as I sat at the computer.

3. I married my high school prom date.

4. I always said I never wanted kids because I was afraid of mirroring negative relationships in my life. But now that I’m pregnant, I couldn’t be happier. Part of me is irrationally terrified that I’ll make the same mistakes as others, but most of me knows I won’t. And that’s comforting.

5. I don’t think my mom has ever read a single one of my stories.

6. My sister-in-law is pregnant with a girl and due three weeks after me. Super cute they’ll be so close in age.

7. I’m fairly certain I’ve suffered from depression for over 10 years and anxiety even longer than that.

8. When I was in elementary school, I tried to stage a play about kids that found a haunted house with a dead person trapped in the walls.

9. One of my favorite authors is Stephen King. In fact, I’d go so far as to say his work is the reason I wanted to become a writer in the first place.

10. I don’t have a handle on this whole “being an adult” thing. It’s getting better but I still have no idea what I’m doing half the time. I don’t know if it reassures me or terrifies me that everyone else likely feels the same way.

Tag, You’re It!

What follows are the people I’m tagging for the Sunshine Award. I’ll try to link to their posts should they decide to make them. 🙂

1. Matthew Barron – My husband and father of our child. He’s awesome.

2. Michael Haynes – Fantastic writer and friend. Read his stuff!

3. Amy & Ken Noel – A twofer! Super cool people with a blog you should read.

4. Danni Menard – Always interesting and supportive.

5. Samuel Mae – Fellow writer and editor. Purveyor of pie-related temptation.

6. Brittany Marczak – Fun Twitter friend and fellow writer.

7. Lauren Orbison – Great writer and always offers words of encouragement.

8. Wendy Wagner – Can you say awesome?

9. Justine McGreevy – Writer and artist extraordinaire.

10. Anya Breton – Writer and always around to lend support on Twitter.

Damned Dolphins, Or Here’s Your Dolphin Pictures Already

I wrote a post last year about dolphins. I know what you’re thinking. How quaint. You’re making assumptions about me right now, aren’t you? That I like sparkly pink purses and put stickers on everything. You’re picturing unicorns and rainbows and dolphins swimming whilst laughing and rejoicing as their glossy skin gleans in the sun. Gleans!

Ah, the acid trip of dolphin youth.

But if you would get off of your assumption train for a moment (judgmental much?), I’d be able to tell you that this post I wrote about dolphins had to do with the BP oil spill and I tied it all together with a fun anecdote about when I got splashed by a dolphin at SeaWorld.

This post is my most popular to date. I don’t have a popular blog or anything, but I got somewhere around 1,400 visits on this one post because it was Freshly Pressed. Now, this was awesome. Blogging is a combination of hobby, outlet, and way to spread the word about my writing, and someone thought enough of my post to press it. Freshly, even. I was honored.

But, with all great achievements there is a burden waiting to be taken up. My burden? The majority of my traffic comes from people looking for pictures of dolphins now. What little traffic I get from search engines rests solely on the nimble fingers of dolphin lovers. Dolphin lovers so enthusiastic about these mammals of the sea, they feel the need to hit the Google with a query punched up with maximum dolphin.

You want dolphin? Fine. You can have them!

The typical searches are for phrases like “dolphin laughing,” or “dolphin swimming.” And if they’re really getting creative, “dolphin smile.” Because really, they’re just gorgeous, aren’t they? So happy, eyes filled with the innocence of a child, metallic skin glistening under the golden rays of the sun. Some might call them majestic…

Then of course, some people have found my blog by searching for the following:

dying dolphin laugh

You sick motherfucker. Does the sound of a dying dolphin send a shiver up your spine? A special tingle? Dude, run away as fast as you can. I don’t want to know you.

I see your dreams. And judge them.

Other phrases I find worrisome:

dolphin with human baby

That’s weird. And sounds dangerous. If you’re looking for baby + dolphin photo ops, you’ve come to the wrong place.

a dolphin saying goodbye see you later

Or waving. You know, that would’ve worked, too. Unless you actually wanted to find out information about a talking dolphin that can only say “goodbye, see you later.” If that’s the case, creativity bonus points for you. Just don’t let me see your sick laboratory in the basement of your mother’s house where you try to “fix” dolphins so they can talk. That shit’s just wrong.

And the WTF award goes to:

dolphins putting up their fin like when you put up your hand in school

How strangely specific. Why would you need to look for this? What possible reason? No, I’m serious. I need to know.

how do dolphins see

Their blowholes.

dead dolphins

I thought I told you to go away! Turn around and leave. No sick bastards that like the sound of dolphin death allowed.

I'm a dolphin, bitch!

This is my curse. Thank you for allowing me to share it with you. Maybe I should write a post about sea turtles to try to balance this out. Or maybe even a land mammal to shake things up. In the meantime, I’ve dug the dolphin hole a little bit deeper. Oh no. Now someone searching for dolphin holes is going to find me. I don’t think I’m sleeping tonight.